Baby Stark
Sam’s Birth Story
At around 3:30am on October 30th, I woke up and was just laying in bed feeling the baby move around a bit. I felt a teeny little pop in my belly, a different sensation than the other movement that was going on, but what also could have been Sam just giving me a little “heads up” kick. I went to the bathroom and discovered that I’d lost my mucous plug. Oh my gosh, this was it! I tried to stay calm because I’d heard that you could lose your mucous plug and still not deliver for a few days, so I decided the best plan was to go back to bed and try to get as much sleep as possible. No sooner were we back in bed than the contractions started. They were a bit inconsistent for the first half hour, but quickly progressed to coming pretty regularly every two minutes. Around 4:30am we called our Midwife Sherry, who advised us to call our Doula Allyson to see what time she wanted to come over. Allyson had us time the contractions for another half hour to make sure it was really “go” time. We timed for another half hour and they were still 2 minutes apart, so Allyson decided this was really it and she was on her way over! At that time, we also made the call to have the birth tub set up.
Around 6:30am, the contractions started getting significantly stronger. At this point, I started to retreat a little bit into myself. I was having a harder time holding conversation, and really needed to focus on breathing and managing the pain while everyone kind of circulated outside of my little personal bubble. I was aware of what was going on in the room, but could no longer really participate in anything outside of what I was feeling. Brent was my rock, he just went wherever I needed him, which was mostly just standing there so I could lean on him during contractions. Allyson was in full-on doula mode, rubbing my back, making sure I was drinking water and taking bites of food every once in a while, talking me through the contractions and reassuring me that everything I was feeling was normal.
During this time I became extremely nauseated and threw up like it was the morning after my 21-run. Such a weird part of labor, but apparently it’s a good sign, and seriously, nothing could have felt better in the moment. Our midwife Sherry and her assistant Tiffanie arrived right around this time, about 8:30am. It had only been 2.5 hours since Allyson arrived, and my labor was so much more intense than when she got there, this baby was definitely coming fast! Allyson encouraged me to get into the tub, as things were progressing pretty quickly. Brent and I didn’t have a specific plan for whether or not he would be getting in the tub with me, but apparently seeing me sitting in the middle of the tub all by myself was a pretty sad sight, so he made the decision to jump in with me.
Laboring in the water felt really great, it was so much easier to move around and just flip into different positions that felt good. By this time I was unable to just breathe through the contractions, but was rather making these low, guttural (very loud) moaning sounds during the peak of each contraction. I can’t explain why or where these sounds came from, but somehow my body knew it would help, and it did.
Well, apparently Sam liked the water too, because he moved down a lot while we were in there. I think we had been in for a little less than an hour when my water finally broke and Sherry told me I needed to start pushing. I didn’t feel the urge to push at all, which apparently is uncommon, especially for first time Moms, so I was really surprised to hear her say that. I think my exact response was, “I do?!” I reached down and could feel Sam’s little head about an inch in, he was right there, and oh my gosh I could feel his hair! I think I was mostly surprised that we had gotten to that point so quickly, I had always expected a longer labor. So Sherry said, “Well, you can continue doing what you’ve been doing, your body will do the work for you and eventually the baby will come out, it’s just going to take longer.” To which I responded, “Alrighty, let’s start pushing!”
For some reason, I had a hard time getting the hang of pushing. Because I’ve been doing a lot of pilates in the last year, I’m very familiar with my pelvic floor muscles and what it feels like to engage them. So it seemed logical to me that these were the muscles I would use to push. Because of that, I was putting a lot of effort into the pushing, but not really getting much of a result. I pushed for a while in the tub, but Sam’s head wasn’t moving under my pelvic bone, so Sherry suggested that I get out of the tub and let gravity help us out a little bit. I labored on the toilet for a little while, then moved to the floor for the final half hour of pushing.
I’m just going to take a moment here to describe the feeling in the room, because it was such a huge part of what made the experience so incredible. Throughout the entire labor there was an aura of complete calm and serenity. It was NOTHING like what you see on t.v., there was no frantic energy or yelling. The only real noise in the room was my moaning, the music we had playing in the background (a birth playlist that I had put together of songs I love), and then everyone quietly reassuring me and telling me how great I was doing. I can’t explain how calming it was to have the energy in the room at such a mellow level, and to know that everything that was happening was natural and normal. I was never scared or anxious, and there was never a point where I felt like I couldn’t do it. Yes, it was painful, and there were points where I got frustrated and just wanted the baby to come out already! But I never hit a point where I thought I was incapable of completing the task. I honestly think that the calm atmosphere and relaxed physical state of my body is a huge reason why the birth went so quickly and smoothly, because there was zero tension holding up the process, my body was just doing its job and moving the baby, and I was letting it.
Alright, back to the pushing. On the floor, Sherry gave me some incredible coaching and I finally got the hang of the pushing thing. She was so specific in her coaching and really made me understand how to push. I feel so blessed to have had a midwife who could so clearly explain to me what I needed to be doing. Had she just kept telling me to push, but not explained how, I might still be lying on the floor waiting for Sam to come out. No wonder so many women poop while they are in labor, THOSE are the muscles you’re supposed to be using! The main thing I remember during the pushing is how excited everyone got when I had a really good push. Our Midwives and Doula would all start talking at once saying, “good job mama!”, “that was such a good one, a few more just like that and this baby will be out!”, “you’re doing such an amazing job!” And it was all with such sincerity, that I really felt encouraged and rejuvenated for the next round of pushing. I felt as if they were caring for me as though I were their own daughter or sister, with such love and tenderness. They also took great care to make sure the baby didn’t come out too fast and cause unnecessary damage. At certain points they coached me to slow down and push in pulses so that the baby’s head eased out slowly while they applied counter-pressure, to avoid tearing. Whatever they did worked because I only had one tiny little tear that healed within days.
Sam’s head finally made its way out and they held up a mirror for me to take a look. He was moving his head back and forth a bit, and I can’t even explain how weird/surreal it was to see him sticking out like that. A bit horror movie-esque, but in the best possible way:). After that it was all downhill! I can’t describe the relief when the rest of his body slipped out into Brent’s waiting hands, and pretty much everyone in the room yelled “It’s a boy!” And then it was like no pain ever existed, because all I felt was bliss. I reached down and Brent and I both put Sam on my chest so that he could get warm and we could get the bonding started. What an amazing moment, I just kept staring at him and saying “hi buddy!” At one point I asked if anyone had seen his eyes because he hadn’t opened them for me yet and I was a little worried that he didn’t actually have any eyeballs. Someone confirmed that eyeballs had indeed been spotted, so I was able to relax a bit. Ten fingers, ten toes, one penis, and two eyeballs. We’re all good.
So that’s the story! Probably pretty boring in the grand scale of birth stories, which is exactly what we were hoping for. The more boring, the better.
